NATIONAL AIDS MEMORIAL GROVE

Joe Hollinger: July 8, 1962 - January 30, 1995

A Proud Mom Honors Her Son's Life

In at least one way, Joe Hollinger was an extremely lucky guy. You know when you meet Nan Tribuzio that she is just about the best mom a guy could have. She's warm, frank, fearless, and ambitious. Anyone would be proud.

He was gregarious (like his mom), into landscaping, tending bar, and the leather-title scene. As a columnist for The Sentinel, a San Francisco newspaper, he was nominated for a Cable Car Award in 1991.

"Joe's partner, Rod Bernal, died in 1988," Nan recalls. "Rod was the love of Joe's life, a real stabilizing influence. They were a couple of kids, really - just 24 - when Rod got sick. One of the most courageous things Joe ever did was take care of Rod.

"Joe just always assumed that he was HIV-positive. By the time he was tested, he already had the symptoms of full-blown AIDS. But he wanted to stay in San Francisco with his friends, so we helped him out financially."

Eighteen months later, Joe finally moved to his mother's home in Livermore. It wasn't the first time Nan had come to the rescue.

"He was always a challenge; he had learning disabilities as a child. He was dyslexic and hyperactive. He finally learned to read at 11 or 12 years of age. After that, Joe became an avid reader," Nan remembers. But the most difficult days were yet to come.

"My mom, Joe's step-father Gene, and I took care of him for four months. We opened up our home to all his friends so that he would not feel isolated. And they all came out to visit us."

"He was ill for about two years. Those last four months were the hardest of my life, but I would never give them back. We had 24 hours a day with him." Joe died in January of 1995 at age 32.

Sometime later, Nan and Gene discovered the National AIDS Memorial Grove booth at the annual San Francisco Garden Show. It seemed the perfect way to honor Joe's spirit, his love of life and people.

They quickly raised enough in donations from friends and family for inscriptions in the Circle of Friends for both Joe and Rod. They also decided to get involved in the Grove's monthly volunteer Workdays. As the months passed, something important began to occur: healing.

"The Grove saved my sanity," Nan says simply. "From the moment we first went, there was an outpouring of love. It was a safe place to grieve. At the Grove, you are talking to people who have experienced the same thing, who know what you are talking about. It also keeps us in touch with San Francisco and with Joe's community. Gene and I are always telling people about the Grove and taking them to see it. It's such a symbol of how people can get along."

These days, Nan and Gene are the center of attention with the Grove's "gung-ho" stump-removal team, the Stud Muffins. They take on some of the toughest assignments on volunteer Workdays. In 1996, NBC chose to interview Nan and Gene standing next to Joe's name in the Circle of Friends for a feature about the Grove on the Today Show. Nan was also the subject of a television segment by Channel 5, KPIX Evening Magazine, on October 9,2002, to publicize the formal dedication of the Grove on October 12, 2002. The reporter spent several hours with Nan at their Livermore home, sharing family photos and stories of Joe from an early age through his move to San Francisco.

You just know that Joe would be proud.

— Paul D. Hufstedler, Grove volunteer

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