NATIONAL AIDS MEMORIAL GROVE

Gordon R. Wright, August 25, 1954 - September 28, 1994

Remembering Gordon, "Everybody's Best Friend"

What Gordon Ross Wright probably wanted most in life was for everyone to think highly of him. He seemed to go to great lengths for the sake of appearances. How he would want us to forget about those final, messy months of his life when, try as he might, all that was inevitable could no longer be avoided or denied.

It was the mark of the man that several people considered him their very best friend. Gordon carried a unique talent that way—even with his relatives. Patient and diplomatic, he was gifted at making us all feel comfortable in his presence. As a confidant, he listened to you empathetically. He laughed at your jokes. He brought wine and flowers and wicked gossip, if that was your pleasure.

Gordon had a seminary background which he chose not to pursue. But a generosity of spirit and a selflessness remained. Under other circumstances, Gordon might have made an excellent minister. In any case, he had an ability to see the best in his friends, and to ignore the rest.

Gordon worked for nine years as a traveling auditor for the Federal Reserve Bank in San Francisco. It was his job to sometimes conduct a fearless and forthright review into the affairs of a fusty old bank in some faraway town. Then, being the escape artist that he was, he would switch into being the most pleasant of traveling companions with his fellow co-workers as they prowled the airports, restaurant and bars in search of local color.

Whether your tastes ran from junk food to the gourmet, Gordon was good company. Ever the skillful chameleon, he blended whether on trips with co-workers, with other friends, with his nieces, his sister or his mother. Not only was he well-traveled, but he traveled well. Day tripping to Diamond Head Mountain outside Honolulu, or to Mount Rushmore, or to the inside of the crown of the Statue of Liberty at night. Or escorting his mother on a big tour of New Zealand. Or just with a couple of friends, sipping champagne at the Marin Headlands, toasting New Year's Day high above the Golden Gate. One can still think of no better way to greet the future.

Socializing was Gordon's principal hobby, but he was also interested in Star Trek, the X Files and the works of Stephen King. He was generous with his time, attention and gifts. At one time or another, nearly all of us experienced Gordon being there for us. Often ignoring his own needs, he helped his father, his good friends and his lovers, through their final illnesses.

But it was Larry J. Holmes who was the focus of Gordon's last four and one half years. Larry often called Gordon a saint, an angel. Gordon discouraged that kind of talk. It is little wonder, though, since Gordon simply couldn't do enough for Larry. Even as Larry got sicker; even as Gordon himself grew sick. It was certainly not the first time that Gordon had helped a loved one to die, but it was indeed the toughest. Before Larry's passing on August 2, 1994, Gordon only seemed to measure the importance of his own disease in terms of how it limited his capacity to be there for Larry.

Scarcely a month later, it was Gordon's turn to pass away from this life. His "ministry" on this plane seemed to his friends interrupted, incomplete.

Wherever he went on his final journey, those unique qualities of empathy and forgiveness and service must have been in short supply. Somewhere, Someone needed a best friend. And Someone surely got the best, in Gordon Wright.

— Paul D. Hufstedler, Grove volunteer

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